Resources for Significant Others, Friends, Family and Allies
of Transgender People

To reach the web page for each resources listed, click on the red heading of each entry, but remember, links are like spider webs.
The cyber silk that ties them together is constantly being built or torn done. So please
 let us know if you have trouble connecting to a site, or if you have some favorites of your own. We'll be sure to post them!

for SOFFAs only

Chat Rooms & Forums

EN/GENDER
PARTNERS
Started and maintained by Helen Boyd, author of “My Husband Betty.”

TRANSFAMILYSPOUSE
For significant others. To ensure privacy, subscriptions are approved by TransFamily. You need a yahoo account (auto registration on the site) and a brief description of your situation and a very short bio.

TRANSPULSE.com
Chat room and forums offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones. Scroll down to ‘Family and Friends…” for the SOFFA forum. The site also has extensive resources for suicide prevention, legal issues, medical needs, and more.

REDDIT / MYPARTNERISTRAN
From the site: “…a safe space and supportive environment for the significant others of transgender persons….”

STRAIGHT MEN, FTM/GQ PARTNERS
Though a great resource for non-trans men to talk about how their partners' gender identities affects them, the group has been serving more as an archive than a discussion for the past few years.

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Face-to-Face or Telephone Support

STRAIGHTSPOUSE NETWORK (SSN)
A peer to peer support group for straight spouses of LGBTQ people.

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Blogs and Sites

HUMAN RIGHTS COUNCIL
Resources for people with transgender family members

FIRST TIME SECOND TIME
Thoughts on relationships, roles, taking turns, gender and parenting from a queer family.

STRAIGHT SPOUSE NETWORK / YOU ARE NOT ALONE
Though not transgender-specific, a collection of stories written by straight spouses that illustrate you are not alone.

ASK METAFILTER
Topic: How To Support Myself While Supporting My Transitioning Spouse
Ask Metafilter is a member-to-member self-help site where members pose questions and get answers from other members of the community.

MY LIFE WITH A TRANSMAN (FTM)
From the blog: “I'm a female-born and identified partner, wife, girlfriend, squeeze, lover—you name it—of a Transman (FTM)….”

ELSPETH BROWN: TRANSPARTNER PROJECT
From the site: A comprehensive list of resources for the TransPartners Project: A project “devoted to exploring (and historicizing) the experience of partners of trans men.

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Publications

PFLAG
Welcoming Our Trans Family And Friends
A support guide for parents, families and friends of trans-gender and gender non-conforming people. Download the PDF.

PFLAG
Opening The Straight Spouse’s Closet
A booklet that Though geared toward the spouses of LGBQ, lists ways It does list ways to support spouses in general,  and includes questions and answers that are common to all straight spouses.

for SOFFAs & Transgender People

Chat Rooms & Forums

TRANSFAMILY DISCUSSION LISTS
Multiple and varied support and information discussions via email for transitioning individuals, their friends, and family.

TRANSFAMILY-COUPLES
For both partners of couples where one partner is transgender at any stage of transitioning.

SOS, FRIENDS, FAMILY AND ALLIES OF FTMS
From the site: Unmoderated posting and relatively open. All referred by FtM-trans moderators are welcome, as are lovers and allies from other lists, all subject to moderator team approval. FtMs and other transfolk welcome.

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Face-to-Face Support

PFLAG / FIND A CHAPTER
A search by city, state or zip code, and includes contact information and locations by state.

CONSUMER ADVOCATE.ORG
The companies listed in this “best-of” guide offer therapy support to SOFFAS (and LGBTQ) via online therapy apps, using text, video calls, or voice messaging. SOFFAs can request the Pride Counseling option when signing up, and then explain their situation to line up with the right therapist. Apps are analyzed based on affordability, therapists’ qualifications, how easy the apps are to use, and contact methods. 

RELATIONSHIP GARDENING
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (CA and OR) Shannon Batts, offers an in-person group for cisgender spouses of trans mates at any stage of the experience. Located in Portland, Oregon, the weekly groups are kept small, with the larger group as a whole gathering from time to time. As an aside, members often make social events and build friendships among themselves.

TRANSFAMILY SUPPORT MEETINGS
This site has meeting times and locations around Cleveland, Akron and NE Ohio. The site also has online meetings and great national resources too.

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Blogs and Sites

EN/GENDER
Helen Boyd’s (Author of “My Husband Betty.”) intelligent blog & super resource list, with a link to her forum & email list, for all—but leans toward partners of trans women.

PFLAG / FAMILY
Offers peer-to-peer support, publications, toolkits, and other resources to family members of LGBTQ people.

SOFFA TRANS (ON FACEBOOK)
For the partners family and children of trans people to share support and pass on experiences in a safe way.

TRANS ROAD MAP
Geared toward the transgender person, but is also a great check list of things to do, ask, and research when trying to find a therapist for SOFFA’s as well—whether seeking individual or co-counseling.

HOME BUYING GUIDE
An article for home buyers with tips and advice that addresses issues such  as discrimination, filing for loans, finding a welcoming neighborhood and more.

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Publications

ARLENE ISTAR LEV 
Transgender Emergence: A Family Affair
Arlene (Ari) Istar Lev LCSW-R, CASAC, CST is a social worker, family therapist, educator, and writer whose work addresses the unique therapeutic needs of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people—and their families.

ARLENE ISTAR LEV
Couples In Transition: When One Is Trans And Other Is Not

PFLAG
Our Trans Loved Ones  
Questions and answers for parents, families, and friends of people who are transgender and gender expansive.

AMERICAN FAMILY THERAPY ACADEMY At The Edge: Exploring Gender And Sexuality In Couples And Families.
A clinical, but fascinating look at gender and sexuality—reconsidered.

families of Transgender children

Forums

REDDIT / CISPARENTTRANSKID
From the site: An LGBT-friendly place to discuss openly the unique experience that is parenting a transgendered or gender fluid child....

PARENTS OF TRANSGENDER KIDS
A Facebook page forsharing information, resources, and support among parents with transgender children and teens.

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Websites

HUMAN RIGHTS COUNCIL / TRANSGENDER CHILDREN & YOUTH
Find resources that transgender children, families and other youth-serving professionals need to support one another in their journeys.

TRANSKIDS PURPLE RAINBOW FOUNDATION
From the site: ...enhancing the future lives of TransKids by educating schools, peers, places of worship, the medical community, government bodies, and society in general, in an effort to seek fair and equal treatment for all transyouth.

TRANS YOUTH FAMILY ALLIES
This group raises public awareness about the challenges faced by children with gender variant identities.

TRANSACTIVE GENDER CENTER / FAMILY RESOURCES
A non-profit organization that provides information, activities, and support for transgender children and youth.

GENDER SPECTRUM
Parenting and family resources and information.

NATIONAL CENTER FOR GENDER EQUALITY / ISSUES / FAMILIES
Resources that focus on family rights and responding to discrimination related to family relationships.

COLAGE / KIDS OF TRANSGENDER PARENTS
From the site: COLAGE unites people with lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and/or queer parents into a network of peers.

NEW YORK TIMES RESOURCE LIST FOR TRANSGENDER PEOPLE/YOUTH
Youth category.

PFLAG FOR FAMILIES
An index of reading material in support of the education of families.

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Publications

PFLAG
Our Trans Children

COLAGE / KIDS OF TRANSGENDER PARENTS
From the site: COLAGE unites people with lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and/or queer parents into a network of peers.

PFLAG
Be Yourself
Questions and Answers for Lesbian, Gay, Biseual, Transgender, Queer, and Questioning Youth.

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